52 New Things -- Week 8 -- Chinese Pharmaceuticals

When Kevin returned from his first trip to China last May, he dragged home a plethora of random gifts he'd been given by various Chinese universities. I guess it's traditional to give an honored guest a little something to remember you by, and since he visited multiple schools, he got multiple gifts . . . some better than others. He's worn the tie and used the pens, but the silver plastic chopstick set is still in the box. Ditto for the case of tea bags and the tablecloth that's twice the size of our tiny kitchen table.

The oddest gift in my opinion, though? A case of cough drops.

I mean, if someone came from outside the U.S. to visit you, is a case of cough drops the first thing you would think of to present them with? I'm pretty sure it wouldn't even make my top ten.

And yet of all that stuff, the cough drops became my new favorite Chinese souvenir this week. When I woke up one morning with a sore throat and started digging through the under-sink cabinet in our bathroom, there they were. I didn't have to change out of my pajamas to make a special run to the store. Yippee!!

How do they taste, you ask? Well, they're not nearly as tasty as the cherry-flavored cough drops I used to steal out of my grandma's purse. Those things were like candy. These are definitely on the medicinal side of the cough drop flavor spectrum, but they do the trick.

Inside the bigger box were eight smaller boxes with four shiny gold packets each. I am quite curious about what the little white slip of paper inside each little deck-of-cards-size box says. Being completely in Chinese, I have two burning questions:

1. Is there an ingredient list? Am I sucking on chicken feathers? Goat brains? Best not to know?

2. Who is the man whose picture in on each little sheet, each little box, and each inner pack as well? Is he the C. Everett Coop of China? The inventor of these cough drops? A male model? I may never know.

Another random welcome-to-our-country gift that saw a lot of action this week? The silk Chinese Kleenex box cover. For the past nine months, it's just been a weird conversational piece in our bathroom, but this week it saw a lot more action that usual. I'm not sure why they would make such a thing, but I do know that if we ever have daughters, they're gonna have the coolest Barbie couch on the block.

I know you'd like to sample some secret-recipe lozenges for yourself, but I used them all this week. Either you've got to keep yourself healthy or see if they're available on eBay. Good luck.

P.S. Would anyone like two large bottles of Chinese alcohol that reportedly tastes like nail polish remover? Highest bidder takes 'em. Post your offer below.