Church Ladies

In yet another attempt to meet some people in our new area, I thought I'd check out the women's Bible study tonight at the church we're leaning towards.  I almost walked into an AA meeting taking place in the fellowship hall until someone steered me away and into the church library.  I joined five women around a table.  All of them were at least twenty years older than me.

But you know what?  I'm fine with that.  Here's why.

I moved to Colorado when I was 24.  Not long after starting my job at the church, some women found me one Sunday morning and dragged me over to the table where they were registering women for the annual church women's retreat.  Looking at the list of women signed up, I saw some mothers of the teenagers I worked with, some empty nesters, and a few grandmas.  No one in their twenties was signed up.  I figured I'd have no one to hang out with.  I had zero interest in attending.

I said I was too busy to go.  They said I could take a weekend off.

I said I couldn't afford it (which was true, but really just an excuse to get out of going).  They paid my way.

I was stuck.

I packed my backpack and my sleeping bag, telling myself to just endure it.  How bad could it be?  Boring probably, but not awful.

I ended up having an AMAZING weekend.  So much so that I looked forward to the church women's retreat every fall for the ten years I worked at the church.

We laughed so hard.  We played games and they didn't mind that I was insanely competitive.  We sang songs, told stories, ate junk food, and although a few women snored loudly enough to rattle the bunk beds, we had the best time together.

But looking back on those ten weekend retreats over ten years, the thing that strikes me the most is how thankful I am for those women and their influence on my life.  Those are the women who made me realize how much I need other women, and not just women my age, but women who have already been through all the things I have yet to experience.

I learned so much from those women -- to thank God in the good times and to cling to God in the hard times.  I heard stories that made me wonder how they'd found the strength to make it through tragedies.  I saw how much they depended on each other for support, and sometimes just for sanity.  I saw seventy-year-old women giggle like seven year olds.

I learned that I have so much to learn.

And so, as we try to find a new church, my standards are high.  Yes, we want a church with great preaching and great music and lots of opportunities to serve . . . but I'm also looking for women like my old church friends, who are willing to mentor and guide me through all the things to come.

And I'm at an age where I can reach out to twenty-four-years olds and assure them they won't be eating Tuna Helper alone every night for the rest of their lives.

I want a community.

It's a tall order.

Kevin and I talked a bit after church this weekend about expectations and settling.  It's impossible to find the perfect church, I know, and if we did find it, we wouldn't qualify for membership.  But at what point do you stop "shopping" and just pick one?  If the preaching is good but the music isn't, do you call it good, settle in, and integrate yourself in that community?  How long do you try to build those relationships before giving up and starting the church hunt over again?  I'd love to hear from others who've had to look for a new place to worship.

And to those beautiful women of Ascension -- you know who you are! -- thank you.  Sincerely.  Tears were streaming down my face as I wrote about those women's retreats.  You've influenced me more than you know and I can never thank you enough.  I love you.  Keep dragging new young women into your circle and doing the same for them!