The Amazing Race-Style Connection in Atlanta
Ugh. Here's a little update for ya from a few weeks ago when I tried to take up running: it lasted two weeks. It's unfortunate, really, because I could have used the training. Our flight from Minneapolis to Atlanta was delayed, delayed, delayed . . . we arrived with just fifteen minutes to make our connecting flight. We sprinted through the airport, bounded down the escalator, and caught the train just as the doors closed. Five stops later, we ran off the train. I hurdled a suitcase and kept on running, up, up, up the loooongest escalator I've ever seen. I was huffing and puffing by the end of it and started thinking maybe a night in Atlanta and a flight out in the morning wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I half ran/half limped my way to the finish line, staggering breathless to the ticket counter as the agent was about to give our tickets to vultures on standby. Not today, suckers.
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| Little did I know, it was about to turn into an actual weapon . . . |
Our first day in Colombia, my husband smacked me across the forehead with an umbrella. He says it was an accident, and if I weren't so short, my forehead would not have been at the same height as the umbrella tucked under his armpit which inadvertently hit me when he turned to talk to me. I'm documenting it here, just in case.
Potato Protest
Let it be known that this trip was educational as well as entertaining. Did you know Colombia grows huge amounts of potatoes? Nor did I. And did you know that the government has been importing potatoes from other countries, driving down the price of Colombian potatoes? Well, they are. And the potato protestors came to town to make it known they were not happy about it. We saw the whole thing go down. Power to the people.
Bogota Public Transportation at Rush Hour
Bogota buses at rush hour? Cray. Zay. I'd say their bus system is pretty high-tech. Very well done. We just chose the wrong time to use it. We stood in line, watching already-full buses pull up. One or two people would smash themselves on before the bus pulled away. When we got to the front and an already-full bus pulled up, we said, ah, we'll just wait for the next one. The crowd had different ideas. It surged forward and we had nowhere to go but onto the bus. Thank goodness Kevin has a totally flat butt, because if not, when those air-lock doors squeezed shut, it totally would have gotten pinched. I kept saying "sorry" to the girl I appeared to be slow dancing with, but Kevin told me to chill out since they're all probably used to this and I was making myself look crazy. I tried to swivel my head exorcist-style to see who was spooning me from behind but couldn't get a good look at him. Kevin reached up and grabbed the bar above his head; he looked like a mother hen with several chicks under his wings. Two young ladies kept glancing up at him nervously, hoping he wouldn't come crashing down on them. Luckily everyone was packed in so tight that no one moved when the bus lurched. So much for my personal space bubble!
Channeling Ricky Bobby
On day two, we left for the hills at 4AM. After a few hours, we left the wide-open highway for narrow, winding roads through the mountains. I'm pretty sure the further up and out we went, the more narrow and winding the roads became. Often there was no shoulder along the side of the road, just a sheer cliff. Every few miles or so, a little shrine was set up; on top of a pole, a box the size of a mini-fridge featured a glass front and a statue inside of the Virgin Mary and baby Jesus. As we wound our way up and around and around and up, I found myself praying to sweet baby Jesus a la Ricky Bobby, asking him to please not let us get hit by a truck or go careening off the sheer cliff or a combination of the two. The more winding the roads got, I also found myself asking sweet baby Jesus to not let me throw up, which leads to . . .
Colombian Pharmaceuticals
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| At least the scenery was amazing . . . |
No Seaties, Sweeties
Why are there toilet seats on the toilets in Bogota but not on the toilet seats in the mountains? It's a mystery. All I know is that I squatted/teetered for five straight days. Besides cardio, I also should have done some strength and balance exercises before this trip.
Improper Footwear
The people in Colombia were AMAZING! While staying in the little mountain town of El Cocuy, Kevin's Colombian family arranged little trips to the mountains for us every day. Unfortunately, with my language barrier, I often wasn't clear on the plan. For example, the first day in the mountains, I thought we were going for a scenic drive. When we got out at the top of a 15,000-footer and started walking, I shot daggers at Kevin with my eyes and asked why he didn't translate for me that I needed hiking boots instead of the sandals I had on? It wasn't much of a hike, though. We just ate cookies after walking uphill about a hundred yards. No biggie. But later on, when horses suddenly appeared in front of us and we were told to climb on? Yeah. Shoes would have been nice. Worse, though, was two days later, when I specifically asked what we were going to be doing and showed the sandals I was wearing. I got a "yeah, that's fine" and away we went. That day we hiked for several miles, including through a cow pasture with fresh cow pies. I shudder two weeks later, just thinking about it. I was very careful where I placed each step, and I made it out poop-free, but let me tell ya, Kevin got the daggers again for that one.
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| I know what you're thinking: perfect footwear choice! |
Let's back up to that horse ride again for a minute. Awe. Some. This was not a nose-to-tail trail ride like those I've been on before. This was a no-trail, three-hour ride through the mountains, past this farmer's sheep and that farmer's cows, up, up, up to the clouds. Unbelievable. At one point I found myself feeling that same feeling I had while driving around the country -- totally blessed. I wish I could find that sense of awe on a more regular basis and not just when I'm out doing something new or amazing; I'm sure it's an attitude shift and I just need to work on counting my every-day blessings. It was like being in a movie, looking down on this gorgeous, untouched landscape. But the ride down? A bit more scary. I reignited some of those sweet baby Jesus prayers on the steep parts, especially the couple of times when my horse lost his footing. Eesh. Even more worrisome was looking back at my gigantic husband and the poor horse that had to carry him; at one point on an incredibly steep part, I thought for sure Kevin was going to get launched right over the horse's head. Phew. Made it out alive. No horseback ride in the future will ever compete with that one, I'm pretty sure.
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| Mere moments before ramming my head into a steel beam . . . |
I'd like to say this is the fault of Colombians being short and therefore making their bridges too low, but the truth is I just wasn't paying attention. I was looking down at a camera, and BOOM. I walked straight into a bridge. With my forehead. It was painful. And the Colombians thought I was stupid, I'm sure. Luckily only two of them saw it, but man, did that ever hurt. Note to self: pay more attention to your surroundings. On the upside, we got some lovely pictures there!
Mother's Day the Colombian Way
Sunday morning I heard a siren for the first time in El Cocuy, the picturesque little village we spent five days in. I found out later that this wasn't an emergency, just a little something extra for Mother's Day. Shortly after the siren, some fireworks went off. Mother's Day again. We walked by the town bakery and saw ten cakes in the cases. They looked delish! Then music started blaring from the cathedral, loud enough to be heard all over town. All my poor mom got was a box of chocolate-covered strawberries. I kind of feel like a slacker. Sorry, Mom!
American Idol in Colombian Church
Before leaving town, we worshiped with the Lutheran church of El Cocuy. The night before, the pastor asked if we would sing something in English while the congregation took communion. No prob. I mean, most people there spoke little to no English, so even if we forgot the words, no one would know, right? I mean, we could sing anything. We considered a holy-sounding version of "Call Me Maybe," but neither of us knew enough words to even bluff it. We ended up doing two rounds of "I Love You, Lord" and two verses of "Amazing Grace." And we were both super-nervous, even if we could forget the words. I guess super-stardom is not in our future.
So that's Week 1 . . . .stay tuned for Week 2!
Can't wait for week two. So thankful you were able to get out of the country for two weeks with your husband!
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